My Top 5 Tips for A Happier Relationship Against All Adversity

parenthood

To say we’ve been challenged with every test, twist and turn possible would be an understatement.
When I first met Mitch, I was a party girl out of a long term toxic relationship and he was a handsome, introverted, gaming bachelor with a roommate.
Our worlds collided and clicked.

I saw something in him that I’d prayed for as long as I can remember, and he tells me my charismatic, caring and outgoing nature was contagious.

He quite literally freed me from some of my demons, and I like to think I challenged him to be more outgoing and sociable. We’ve truly grown together ever since.

We got pregnant quickly and bought our first home a few months later. We raised Hudson there, we got engaged, we mourned a very painful miscarriage, and soon after found out we were pregnant with twins. Isolated in all those lockdown days, we were still very much learning about one another. We got married with all three children in attendance and then moved again.

We now live & work from this home together and sometimes it feels we see too much of one another. It’s easy to fall into that complacency. Over the years we’ve been touched out, or not touched enough. We’ve had mental health breaks, parental burnout, overwhelm & exhaustion.

How we’ve overcome (and continue) to overcome this?

Don’t say goodnight before checking in

Establishing non-negotiable times of the day to check in with one another. As it comes more naturally to me, I lead this initiative and request his willingness to communicate. If matters escalate, we book counselling, or seek appropriate health professionals.

Never stop dating your partner

Planning non-negotiable kid-free time to have fun and honour what was- and still is- very much there waiting for us. At the same time find joy in the monotony and mundane of family life, because more often than not, I’ve found, they turn out to be the most meaningful days.

Teamwork makes the dream work

Support our individual endeavours and remember that it’s a give and take. We root for each other and are grateful for the flexibility we have working from home.

Communication is imperative

Communication of expectations- love languages, intimacy, division of work in the home, time-blocking communal clean up and not stressing, rather, embracing the inevitable chaos.

Hold the gratitude glass half-full