What not to say to a twin mom

I’ll preface by saying I can appreciate that people are trying to be relatable in conversation, and that they are only perceiving negative relativity to their own situation. I get that. It’s certainly not for everyone.

At some point though, there has to be accountability for how words come across to twin parents in our actual reality, and it’s a beautiful one.

Hearing things like,

"you've got your hands full"

"we dodged having twins"

"I'd kill myself if I had twins"

is not necessarily supportive to a mum of multiples. She could be having a challenging time, no doubt- so what she might need in any given moment, is encouragement.

Never in a million years would I think I’d be cut out to be a twin parent of three, but what I’ve come to realize is that we absolutely step up to what life throws at us.

Becoming a twin mom was the thing that broke me down, yes, but in that tear down, a new, more resilient version of who I am at the core was born. I respect this woman more than any identity I’ve known before.

She has more gratitude for the little things and absorbs hard-earned freedoms awestruck in appreciation.

She has incredible grit to take on life despite the restrictions, setbacks and limitations of the role.

Of course at times I miss a life with more autonomy, but there’s something about this one that supersedes what any vacation or endless flexibility could offer me.

There’s something about twins, that’s made me feel chosen, able and capable of accepting all the fulfillment, love and joy that they bring, two at a time.

These twins have tested us, and in turn made our relationship stronger. We progressively build on an enriching team work we could have never known otherwise. By contrast, it makes our intimate time that much more profound and meaningful.

Getting to witness how twins live in synchronicity, learning and growing together is a miracle in and of itself; not a nightmare at all.

Obviously a life with twins shakes us a little harder every day, but the truth is I wouldn’t have it any other way. They absolutely amaze us.

While we are all different, I just want to remind people to hold some thoughts to themselves, and to remind new twin mamas (or those to be) that you’ve got this.

The universe chose you because you were the perfect parents to take on the challenge, and it’s the feat of a lifetime. Every day is blessing to witness the miracle that we grew, and that they are. 💗